The Word Love
I want to look at the word “Love” as we understand it today
and as it is understood Biblicaly. First we must establish that the
English language does not always do justice to the original Greek and Hebrew
text. By that I mean, for example, that often times a word that we use in the
English language can and does have multiple words with different meanings in
the classical Greek language. For example we have and use the word love and
although it has many meanings in the English language today we often use the
one word, “love” to describe many things such as a strong
affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties such as a parent,
child or friend, an attraction based on sexual desire such as affection and
tenderness felt by lovers, likewise, an object or objects of attachment,
devotion, or admiration as in a love of nature, a sport, a particular activity
or love of country etc. The Bible
states that “God is love” 1 John 4:8 or that “God so loved the world that He
gave His only son” John 3:16 or when Jesus asks Peter three times in the 21st
chapter of the book of John “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than
these.” And Peter replies, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” What many do
not realize is that there are four different Greek words translated in the
English language as love and each has a different meaning.
First we will look
at the word Eros, which we derive the English word erotic or erotica from, and
although it does not appear specifically in the Bible it is implied in a number
of places in scripture. For example in Paul’s discourse on marriage in 1
Corinthians 7 he suggests that it would be better if all men could be, “as I
myself am” v7, yet “because of immoralities each man is to have his own wife and
each woman is to have here own husband.” v 2.
In verse 8, 9 he again states, “to the unmarried and to widows that it
is good for them if they remain even as I (single). But if they do not have
self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.
(Figuratively with passion or lust.)
The Greek word Eros speaks to sexual love, however, eros
does not have to be sexual in nature. It
can also be interpreted as a love for someone whom you love more
than the philia love of friendship or can also apply to dating
relationships as well as marriage.
In the English language though it is generally
sexual in nature, erotic sexual love permeates much of the world, especially
Western civilization today through media advertising which is often littered
with pictures of provocative looking women that have little or nothing to do
with the product being advertised. Today I observe that almost every Hollywood movie either involves someone getting a divorce
or someone already divorced as part of the theme of the movie and the internet
is awash in pornography. Western society today is consumed with image, rather
than substance. According to a survey by The American Society for Aesthetic
Plastic Surgery it was observed that from 1997 to 2011, the US saw a 197-per-cent increase in
surgical and non-surgical cosmetic procedures with women accounting for 91% of
these procedures in 2011. Of this 91%, breast augmentation by far tops the list
and is the most in demand procedure in spite of any potential health risks. Men
and even women have become infatuated with the perceived need to have perfect
looking breasts.
Through the 70’s and
80’s eating disorders arose in the national conscience as the number of
diagnosed cases exploded predominantly among adolescent girls in the form of
anorexia and bulimia in a vain attempt to control their bodies and by extension
their lives as they worked their way through puberty. Sadly and more recently
doctors have discovered a spike among women in the late twenties to forties age
group with many treatment centers now seeing greater than 40% of patients above
age 30.
Likewise the rise in
diagnosed depression, anxiety and suicide, especially among youth today is
staggering. Depression has become the most common mental health disorder in America
today and it is now estimated that almost 1 in 10 American adults suffer this
disorder in one form or another and that approximately 20% of youth will
experience teen depression before reaching adulthood.
Can anyone be
surprised by these disturbing and growing phenomena given that we live in a
world bombarded and so heavily focused on image? Media and advertising
continually drive this message into our subconscious level, whether through
television, print or the internet, with the consequence of such a direct or
indirect result of growing lack of self image and self esteem. In recent years
we have seen a growing number of news stories that involve one or more mentally
unstable persons going on shooting rampages leaving multiple victims and society
grasping to understand why?
I believe all these
incidences are a direct consequence of the of true biblical love and more
importantly a lack of self love. Jesus left us with two commandments that He
said would fulfill the whole of the Law.
Mat 22:36 "Teacher, which is the great commandment
in the Law?"
Mat 22:37 And he said to him, "You
shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your mind.
Mat 22:38 This is the great and
first commandment.
Mat 22:39 And a second is like
it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
Mat 22:40 On these two
commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."
Without a doubt in my mind, societies ignorance regarding
these two great commandments are the direct consequence of all of the evil,
hurt, sickness and sin that we experience in today’s world. To sin according to
the definition of the Greek word hamartia
is “that which is done wrong, sin, an
offence or a violation of the divine law in thought or in act.” It means to err, to be mistaken, to miss the
mark and as a result miss a share in. I believe we have done a great injustice
to the true sense of what it means to sin. In it’s proper context our sin is
that we have missed the significance of these two precepts that Jesus has given
mankind.
Most of us know and
would agree that we should love our neighbor as ourselves and we would all have
that that be so for us. We all want to be treated with respect and dignity, but
of course it starts with us. God’s law is seedtime and harvest. Whatsoever a
man sows that will he also reap. If we are to experience respect and honor from
others we must first sow respect and honor. Unfortunately we live in a self
centered world where it is all about us first, taking care of our needs, but
more so our wants, lusts and desires which is what media advertising is all
about.
Have you ever
considered that it is impossible to love another anymore than the love that you
have for yourself. If you are lacking in self love, self esteem, self worth and
never feel that you are able to “measure up” how could you possibly love
another. What I believe we are missing as well is the fact that Jesus said that
this was the second commandment. By ignoring the first we are never or very
unlikely to experience the second. Of course many do not like the word
commandment as the ego hates to be told what it must do, again the result of
our self centered media influenced nature. But we could also use the word
injunction or precept here which is simply a general rule intended to regulate
or control ones behavior or thoughts. If society would acknowledge and
recognize these words for the wisdom that they are our world would look
dramatically different. We are told to love God first and foremost with all of
our heart – Greek kardia which is the
center of all physical and spiritual life. Our soul – Greek psuchē the seat of the feelings,
desires, affections, aversions and that which we derive the English words
"psychic" or "psychology.". And our mind – Greek dianoia the mind as a faculty of
understanding, feeling, desiring, mind, i.e. spirit, way of thinking and
feeling, either good or bad.
The key to placing
God first and foremost in our lives is that it takes the focus off of us. Then
as we begin to understand God’s love for us through the message of the gospel
or good news we begin to change the perception we have of ourselves with the by
product being that we begin to display the God kind of love towards our
neighbor. In other words by applying the first commandment of Jesus the second
becomes a natural effortless result.
With all this laid
out I want to now continue on and look at the three remaining classic Greeks
words that speak to our word love.
Love in today’s world is a not a true Godly
unconditional Biblical love at all. Rather most, if not all, of the love experienced
in the world today is based on conditions. If you do this or that, act this way
or that way I will love you. The world’s love whether from parents, family,
friends or even our spouses is almost always conditional.
The second word is
storge love which is the natural love and affection felt between parents to
their offspring and children to their parents yet can also exist between
siblings and even a husband and wife in a healthy marriage. Most parents are so
devoted to the safety and well being of their children that they will sacrifice
almost anything for the sake of their children. Storge is a committed, often
sacrificial love that expects little or nothing in return, often overlooking
another’s shortcomings and forgiving easily in the case of quarrels. It is a
love that is most often taken for granted among family members where we feel
most comfortable and secure just being amongst one another.
There is one
occurrence in Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give
preference to one another in honor;” NASB
Or “Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of
one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.” AMP
The Greek word for
devoted or brotherly affection is the word “philostorgos” and is defined by
Thayer’s concordance as
1) the mutual love of parents and children and wives and
husbands
2) loving affection, prone to love, loving tenderly
2a) chiefly of the reciprocal tenderness of parents and
children
It is a combination of the word Philos and Storgos with
Philos defined as a friend, associate or companion.
The next word is the
Greek word Phileo. Phileo love could be defined as an intimate, affectionate
platonic brotherly love directed towards our fellow man and is not sexual in
nature. In some sense it is not really love in the true sense as it also
relates to a fondness or like for an individual or object which can denote a
personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling. It is more a head
type of love that can often be selfish, having conditions attached and less
willing to overlook shortcomings and forgive as easily. Phileo has 26
occurrences in the New Testament version of the KJ Bible.
The final word and
there are really two with Agape love being derived from the word Agapao and
Agapao being compared to Phileo love. Agapao shows 142 occurrences in the KJV
with Strong’s Concordance defining the word as “to love in a social or moral
sense.” Thayer’s adds; “to welcome, to entertain, be fond of or love dearly, as
well as to be well pleased, to be contented with or at a thing.” This is
usually a reference to love (primarily of Christian love); show or prove one’s
love; long for, desire, place first in one’s affections.
Agape love shows 116
occurrences in the New Testament KJV and is considered a benevolent love or
affection. Agape is generally accepted as the unconditional, self sacrificing,
love your enemies, and pray for those that spitefully use you God kind of love.
This is the love that is most lacking in society today, where it is all about
me, myself and I and an attitude of “what’s in it for me” rather than, “What
can I do for you expecting nothing in return.” This form of love is used almost
exclusively in describing the love of God, of Christ or of the Spirit as well
as of man’s love for God. It is a divine unconditional love that describes the
very nature of God such as John’s proclamation in 1 John 4:8 when he states,
“God is love.” (Agape)
It is also the love that Paul describes in the 13th
chapter of 1st Corinthians that I believe is the ultimate
description of God and the God kind of
love as Paul uses the Greek word agape throughout this whole chapter.
1Co 13:1 What
if I could speak all languages of humans and of angels? If I did not love
others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
1Co 13:2 What
if I could prophesy and understand all secrets and all knowledge? And what if I
had faith that moved mountains? I would be nothing, unless I loved others.
1Co 13:3 What
if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burned alive? I would gain
nothing, unless I loved others.
It is here that Paul clearly states that love is the most
important thing and then gives a beautiful description of what the God kind of
love is and if God is love then this is a perfect description of the very
nature of God.
1Co 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not
jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
1Co 13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek
its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1Co 13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but
rejoices with the truth;
1Co 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes
all things, endures all things.
1Co 13:8 Love never fails;
I think all would agree that what we
experience in most of our world and lives today is completely contrary to the
above description of God. Our world is full of impatience, selfishness,
jealousy, arrogance, self seeking, is easily provoked and is often quick to
condemn, judge or hold grudges while slow to forgive and forget. Is it any
wonder we live a completely dysfunctional society today.
Agape love is a love, not based on feelings but in action as
an act of the will made manifest in acts of charity or service to others
including those we may not know or even like, expecting nothing in return, a
love that overlooks the short comings, character flaws and weaknesses in
others, such that God has done with humanity. This love is one of the most
difficult forms of love to comprehend and the most difficult to obtain
especially in a society where everything is conditionally based and focused
primarily on our own self centeredness and ego. It is a love I believe that can
only be experienced spiritually where the very depths of our being is found, a
love that emanates from the heart as decribed above.
I want to go back to
the example in chapter 21st chapter of John and of the conversation
between Peter and Christ. Here Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him.
There is much said about the inference here between Peters denial of Christ
three times but we’ll leave that for another day. What I want to do is focus
here is the words used by both Peter and Jesus in the original Greek.
Starting in v 15
Jesus says, “So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus *said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than
these?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love
You."
In this instance Jesus says “Do you agapao Me
more than these Peter’s response is, “Yes Lord, you know that I phileo you.” You’ll
see when we observe this identifying the original Greek words that Jesus uses the
word Agapao as in describing the Father’s love for the Son (John 17:24) or the
love of the Son towards man in John 15:9 where Jesus says, “Just as the
Father has loved (agapao) Me, I have also loved (agapao) you; abide in My love.(Agape)”
It is the kind love where Jesus is
asking Peter if his love is such to place Christ first in his affections. Yet
Peter responds with the word Phileo which is normally used to describe
friendship and God’s feeling of friendship towards men. From a moral sense
Phileo is used to describe both good and bad inner desires and would not be
considered as placing Christ first.. Mt 6:5, 10:37, 23:6, Lk 20:46, Jn 12:25
Jesus
asks Peter a second time v 16, “"Simon, son of John, do you love
Me?" He *said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You."” Again
Christ is asking Peter if his love of Christ is of the agapao kind and Peter
affirms his Phileo love.
Yet when Christ asks Peter the third time something changes
in v 17 “He *said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love
Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him,
"Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You."
This time
Jesus says “Simon, son of John, do you Phileo me” Peter is grieved because
Jesus says to him a third time do you “Phileo” me with Peter’s response
being you know all things Lord, you know that I Phileo you.
What Jesus has done
here after asking Peter twice if he loves (agapao) him is to lower the standard
by using the word phileo (brotherly affection). Clearly Peter faced a dilemma
in his choice of the appropriate word for love here in light of his previous
statement and of those of Christ. For Jesus declared;
Joh 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that
one lay down his life for his friends.
Here Jesus uses the word agape to show that there is no
greater love in the universe than that which would put others ahead of oneself
even if that meant death and is that not what Christ did for humanity, yet Peter’s
predicament of course was his denial of Christ not once, but three times, even
though he had stated just previously that “I
will lay down my life for You." John 13:37
As stated agape love
does not and cannot come through the head or the world’s method, but can only
be grasped through the heart or spirit. We all carry this love, though like
many things it is likely suppressed. How do I know it exists in all of us? Two
reasons, one, God’s spirit exists in all of us whether I choose to believe it
or not is irrelevant, second, we see it in those rare moments when for example
some unknown person is caught in a raging river current and is likely to drown
and a total stranger puts all logic or thought of their own well being aside
and jumps in, in an attempt to rescue the victim or a stranger comes upon a car
accident where someone is trapped in the burning wreckage of a vehicle. Again
we get examples of someone on scene risking their own lives in an attempt to
rescue the trapped victim. We have yearly award ceremonies and we acknowledge
these people whom we call heroes. There a countless examples were people who risk
their own lives and put their own safety aside for the sake of saving another.
I guess what I am
trying to get across here is that whether a Christian believer, an agnostic or atheist
there is an underlying message for all of humanity about what true love is.
True love carries no
conditions and is that not ultimately what Jesus taught humanity. That His love
(agape) for the Father and for all of mankind regardless of our short comings,
our sins, our unforgiveness, hate, anger, bitterness etc. was so great that He
willing laid down His life. Many may look at this message and say what kind of sick
Father would willingly sacrifice His own Son? My response would have to be a
Father who is looking at the bigger picture and trying to drive home to broken,
dysfunctional, hateful world an important, invaluable lesson about what it
means to really love. Until humanity grasps this lesson of love I am afraid we
will continue to walk a path of destruction getting ever so closer to the abyss
of annihilation as a species on this planet we call home.
Robert Vogt
August
11, 2012
